Common Mistakes Made During a Divorce

Going through a divorce is undoubtedly one of life’s more challenging transitions. Understanding potential pitfalls can help you navigate this period with more confidence. 

Many people find that being aware of common mistakes made during a divorce allows them to approach the process more thoughtfully, aiming for outcomes that support their future well-being and that of their family. A divorce lawyer in Glendale can help you avoid these common errors and guide you through each step with clarity and strategy.

This journey can feel overwhelming, like trying to find your way through downtown Phoenix during rush hour without a map, but information can be a powerful guide.

Missteps to Sidestep: Common Mistakes Made During a Divorce

Learning about these common errors can empower you to make more informed choices. While every situation is unique, awareness is a key first step.

Letting Emotions Steer the Ship

It’s completely natural to feel a wide range of strong emotions like anger, sadness, or fear during a divorce. However, allowing these emotions to dictate your decisions is one of the most significant common mistakes made during a divorce. 

When emotions are high, it can be tough to think clearly about long-term consequences.

• Decisions made in anger might lead to drawn-out arguments over small issues, increasing stress and legal costs.
• Giving in too easily due to sadness or a desire to “just get it over with” could result in an unfair settlement that doesn’t protect your future financial stability.
• Fear can sometimes paralyze you from advocating for what is fair and necessary for you and your children.

Thinking about your long-term goals, rather than immediate emotional reactions, can help you make choices that better serve you in the years to come.

Incomplete Financial Picture

A clear understanding of your household finances is mandatory during a divorce. This means knowing all the assets and liabilities you and your spouse share. Assets are things of value you own, such as savings accounts, retirement funds, real estate (like your family home, perhaps in a neighborhood like Willo or Encanto), and vehicles. 

Liabilities include mortgages, car loans, or credit card balances. Not having a complete financial picture is a frequent oversight and one of the common mistakes made during a divorce.

In Arizona, a community property state, most assets and debts acquired during the marriage are typically considered jointly owned. According to the Arizona Revised Statutes § 25-211, community property is generally divided equitably, meaning fairly, though not always exactly 50/50. 

Attempting to hide assets or not fully disclosing financial information can lead to serious legal problems and may even cause a divorce agreement to be overturned later. Gather documents like bank statements, tax returns, loan agreements, and property deeds early to get a jump on the process.

Involving Children in Adult Disagreements

Divorce is difficult for parents, and it’s just as hard, if not harder, for children. One of the most damaging common mistakes made during a divorce is putting children in the middle of parental conflicts.

• Using children as messengers to communicate with your ex-spouse.
• Speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the children.
• Asking children to take sides or burdening them with adult worries.

These actions can create significant emotional distress for children. Arizona law, specifically A.R.S. § 25-403, emphasizes that all decisions regarding child custody and parenting time must be made in the “best interests of the child.” 

This includes protecting them from parental conflict. Focusing on respectfully co-parenting, even when challenging, supports your child’s well-being. There are many resources available, from co-parenting classes to counseling, that can help families navigate this.

Oversharing on Social Media: A Modern Mistake in Divorce

In today’s connected world, posting online can have real-world consequences, especially during a divorce. Oversharing on platforms like Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter is a surprisingly common mistake that can unintentionally harm your case during a divorce.

• Venting frustration about your spouse or the divorce proceedings can be seen as uncooperative or hostile.
• Posting pictures of new relationships or lavish spending might impact discussions about spousal maintenance (financial support paid by one spouse to another after divorce) or the division of assets.
• Comments made by friends, even if well-intentioned, can sometimes be misconstrued.

It’s often wise to assume that anything you post online could potentially be seen by your spouse’s legal counsel and used as evidence. Maintaining a low profile on social media during this time can prevent unnecessary complications.

Neglecting Your Own Well-being

Going through a divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. It can take a toll on your physical and mental health. A critical, yet often overlooked, mistake is failing to prioritize your own well-being. 

The stress of legal proceedings, financial worries, and emotional upheaval can be immense.

• Not getting enough sleep or proper nutrition can affect your mood and decision-making.
• Isolating yourself from friends and family who offer support can increase feelings of loneliness.
• Forgetting to engage in activities that usually bring you comfort or joy.

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential. This might mean scheduling regular exercise, ensuring you eat healthy meals, leaning on your support network, or even considering talking with a therapist or counselor. 

Resources like those from the National Institute of Mental Health offer insights into managing stress during difficult life events.

Making Verbal Agreements Without Written Confirmation

During a divorce, you and your spouse might discuss many aspects of your separation, from who gets the good china to parenting schedules. While amicable discussions are positive, relying solely on verbal agreements is a significant pitfall and one of the common mistakes made during a divorce.

• Memories can fade, and conversation interpretations can differ later.
• A verbal agreement is often very difficult to enforce if one person changes their mind or denies the agreement existed.

For an agreement to be legally binding and provide security, it needs to be in writing, signed by both parties, and typically approved by the court as part of your divorce decree. 

This formalizes your arrangements for property division, debt allocation, spousal maintenance, and child-related matters, ensuring clarity and enforceability down the road.

Not Considering Tax Implications

Financial restructuring during a divorce has notable tax consequences. Failing to consider these is another common mistake during a divorce.

• How property is divided can lead to capital gains tax implications later. For example, who keeps the marital home and how the equity is split can matter.
• The tax rules around spousal maintenance have changed in recent years. Understanding whether payments are taxable to the recipient and deductible for the payer is essential. The IRS Publication 504, Divorced or Separated Individuals, provides general information, but tax laws are complex and can change.
• Decisions about claiming children as dependents for tax purposes also need to be clearly addressed.

Understanding these potential tax issues is often beneficial. Sometimes, a good settlement on the surface might be less advantageous after taxes are considered.

Failing to Update Important Documents

Once your divorce is finalized, your life changes in many legal ways. A common oversight is forgetting to update crucial documents to reflect your new marital status.

• Estate Planning Documents: This includes your will, trusts, and powers of attorney. Your ex-spouse may still be listed as a beneficiary or decision-maker if these are not updated.
• Beneficiary Designations: Life insurance policies, retirement accounts (like 401(k)s or IRAs), and bank accounts often have named beneficiaries. These need to be reviewed and changed as appropriate.
• Property Titles: If one spouse is keeping the marital home or other real estate, the title may need to be formally transferred.

Updating these documents can prevent confusion and ensure your assets are distributed according to your current wishes. It helps protect your legacy and your loved ones.

Believing You Must Figure Things Out Blindly

The divorce process can feel incredibly isolating, and the legal system, including navigating procedures at places like the Maricopa County Superior Court, can seem complex and intimidating. 

One of the most fundamental common mistakes made during a divorce is thinking you have to figure everything out by yourself or that you shouldn’t ask for help. While your friends and family offer crucial emotional support, the legal aspects of divorce require a different kind of guidance.

Arizona’s family laws cover many areas:

• Division of property and debts.
• Child custody and parenting time.
• Child support calculations.
• Spousal maintenance.

Trying to understand all these legal nuances while dealing with the emotional stress of a separation can be overwhelming. Seeking information and understanding your options can make a significant difference in how you experience the process and in the fairness of the outcome.

FAQ 

What is one of the biggest financial mistakes people make during a divorce?

A very significant financial mistake is not getting a full and accurate valuation of all marital assets. This can include overlooking things like the true value of a pension, a business, or investments. Another is underestimating future financial needs or the long-term cost of keeping certain assets, like a house with high upkeep.

How can I protect my credit score during a divorce?

Protecting your credit involves several steps. Try to separate joint accounts as soon as possible, or at least monitor them closely. If you have joint debts, work to have them assigned to one party in the divorce decree, though lenders may still hold both parties responsible if the debt was incurred jointly. Making timely payments on any debts in your name is crucial.

What if my spouse is being unreasonable or uncooperative?

It’s a common concern. If your spouse is not negotiating in good faith, hiding information, or being difficult, it becomes even more important to have a clear strategy. Document everything, try to communicate through formal channels if direct communication is problematic, and understand the legal avenues available to compel disclosure or address non-compliance.

Is it a mistake to move out of the marital home before the divorce is final?

In some situations, moving out of the marital home prematurely can create complications, particularly concerning temporary child custody arrangements or if it’s perceived as abandoning the property. However, if there are issues of safety or high conflict, moving out might be necessary. It’s a nuanced issue that can depend heavily on individual circumstances.

Can I start dating before my divorce is finalized?

While Arizona is a no-fault divorce state (meaning you don’t have to prove someone did something wrong to get a divorce), starting a new relationship before the divorce is final can sometimes complicate matters. It could potentially impact child custody discussions if it’s argued that the new relationship is not in the children’s best interest, or it could inflame emotions, making negotiations more difficult.

What happens to shared debts if my spouse agrees to pay them but doesn’t?

Even if your divorce decree states that your ex-spouse is responsible for a joint debt, creditors can often still pursue you for payment if your name is on the original loan agreement. The decree is an agreement between you and your ex-spouse, not necessarily binding on third-party creditors. If your ex-spouse fails to pay, you might have to pay to protect your credit and then potentially seek reimbursement from your ex-spouse through the court.

Charting Your Path Forward

Navigating a divorce requires careful thought and an understanding of potential challenges. By being aware of these common mistakes made during a divorce, you can approach your situation with greater clarity and work towards a resolution that allows you to move forward. 

If you are in Phoenix or elsewhere in Arizona and have questions about the divorce process or how to avoid these common missteps, consider reaching out for information. 

The family law firm team is available to discuss your circumstances and help you understand your path forward. Contact us at (602) 265-5200 for a confidential consultation.